The Battle

Shakespeare mentions the "wheel of fortune" in his writings. In my life experience, this is something I've grown to believe in. It's easier to believe in the Rota Fortunae than God, karma, and the weatherman.

Things go up and things go down.

In the weeks prior to graduating from college, I felt on top of the world. I got a job, I had a plan, I had my best friends behind me, I had taken trips to Chicago...

I graduated with Honors and a 3.7 GPA from college.

Then, it all just started crumbling like an old fresco in a Renaissance church.

My job turned out to be anything but what I expected. A telemarketing position for no pay... when I was getting 8.50 for an easier job while still in school. My plans were relied on my job, and now those plans are in the toilet. My trips to Chicago also rely on a job, and now that I don't have a paying job, I can't visit the boyfriend.

I have been applying for jobs like crazy... bank jobs, receptionist jobs, writing jobs, editing jobs, internet jobs, hourly jobs... I check my e-mail religiously...

I have found no jobs...

I'm just not quite sure what to do. I'm waiting for my Rota Fortunae to spin. When I need a quick shot of karma, especially musical karma, I take a look at Jason Mraz's blog.

Infatuation

I'm the new Cleveland Examiner for Indie Music.

Brand new.

Check out my home page and my articles.

Half Asleep

Beautiful new song by School of Seven Bells to describe exactly how I feel right now.

I had a group job interview today. It was my first real job interview, and it was a very interesting experience indeed. I'm glad there wasn't any real interviewing... the president of the company simply explained what they were about and what the job is about. And to think, my mom spent almost $200 buying me new "real people" clothes at Kohls. Fancy jackets, silky shirts, cute dresses that go to the knee, and a nice pair of dress pants (that only cost $8.80!!). I felt like a little kid wearing her mothers clothing and too big high heels when I went on that interview today.

I'm not a grown-up haha. At least, I don't think of myself as one. I'm doing grown-up things, graduating from college, looking for apartments, looking for jobs, working on my resume... goodness. I'll be a successful English major before you know it.

All that I know for sure is that I want an electronic cigarette. Perhaps I should wait until they're FDA approved.

With the Notes in My Ears

Grey's Anatomy has had some really good music this season... from Bon Iver and Gomez (who will be at Bonaroo this summer... I want to go so badly!!) to Peter Broderick, "With the Notes in My Ears," and The Cinematic Orchestra, "To Build a Home." Definitely songs worth checking out.

Also, Manchester Orchestra's new song is really good. I'll give you a link for that one.

In other music news, I recently bought a melodica that is on it's way to my house.

The melodica is a pretty cool musical instrument. I first saw it at Jason Mraz's concert. Lisa Hannigan and her wonderful band opened for Mraz, and I was like "what in the world is that keyboard they are blowing into?" I forgot all about it until I saw videos from Bon Iver's Take Away Show in France. For, Emma is awesome with a melodica (thanks Katja for showing me this link in the first place). Justin Vernon is such an amazing musician. I looked up the instrument, and knew I had to purchase one.


My fellow classmates and I have recently been writing about animal experiences in our Nonfiction class, and after reading a story about groundhog's, I wanted to share a website with you that is all about animals and guaranteed to brighten your day.

Get Up, Get Out

The picture is from explodingdog.com. The caption reads, "welcome to forever, feel free to look around."

I have officially joined twitter. It's like a constant facebook status. I don't have any real friends on it, just a couple of musical artists that I like to keep up with, like Imogen Heap. Her album needs to come out already. She's been documenting all her work on a series of vblogs.

They're just making me more anxious.

I've just discovered that Bon Iver's frontman, Justin Vernon, had an ep out before Bon Iver existed... I'm currently trying to upload some of the tracks I've found and some of the tracks I just discovered on Imeem to put together an Imeem playlist to share! The playlist also has Bon Iver and Justin Vernon's songs from the awesome compliation, Dark Was the Night...

Here's the Justin Vernon playlist.

Eyes

I chose this postsecret card, because I dreamt my whole life of going to New York City, and having a successful and fabulous life there, but when I visited in December, I missed my boyfriend so much, I couldn't enjoy NYC. Somehow, I think I'll be much more keen to Chicago. :)

When I was a senior in high school, my english teacher told me that he was disappointed with the work he got from me, that he wished he could've seen my full potential...
now I'm an English major in college with a really good GPA.

I could have gotten straight a's in college, but then I wouldn't be as close with the people I am now. I'll forget the times I went to class hungover, but I won't forget the great moments I've had.

I get made fun of by some people for hanging out with people a little bit younger than me, people that graduated from the same high school as me, but around those people, I can completely and fully be myself and never feel weird.

In exactly three months from now, I have absolutely no idea where I'll be.

Money Babies

First and foremost, you need to listen to this blog title's song! The Dears are amazing!

Now, it's almost Spring... which means people need new clothing... lol. I highly suggest this website for some great fashion at decent prices. This website also has cool clothes, but I especially love the jewelry!! Modcloth is awesome, I bought a jacket from there... I was very pleased with the shipping time, and they even threw in a coupon for the next time I buy their stuff!

So, I'm a total sucker for Postsecret proposals... and here's the latest...


Then the guy who sent in the secret wrote this:
Frank,

Sorry for not letting you know a little sooner. We have both been calling our family and friends since it happened. It all went down around 10:30 this morning. After getting out of bed, I grabbed the ring from where I had been hiding it for nearly two months. Being my birthday, I just finished opening my presents from my girlfriend. I then got the laptop out to check the weather, and we started to look at the secrets.

I was actually very nervous/excited as we scrolled down the page. As we got to it, my girlfriend asked what the card above ours was a picture of. I was somewhat concerned she had already seen ours, but she hadn't. I then scrolled down to our card. She was looking at the card for a while, and then looked at me. At the time, she was wondering if that was really our cat or not.

I then reached into my pocket, took out the ring box, and got down on one knee. Before I even asked, she kissed me. She was crying, and my eyes also started to tear up. I then took her hand and asked her to marry me. Her answer was yes!!! I then had to go into a discussion of how it all came to be. She was definitely surprised by the date of the proposal as well as my method of proposing. Frank, I would like to thank you again for your agreeing to do this.

It couldn't have been better. The date is set for March 13, 2010 .


If you're like me, and you have a boyfriend who is in the military, let me just say that you should definitely check out forums... it's a great way to meet people who are going through the same things you are. I've already made two friends that I can talk to.

Ok, that's the news update for today. P.S. Congrats to Obama.

A Spell, A Rebel Yell

Hello. So, school has just started, and my last semester of college is going to be so busy, I doubt I'll have much time to reflect.

First off... check out Coldplay's new
album... they sing the song listed in the title.

This semester, I'll be letting a lot of people see my poetry for my Senior Honors Project, which is terrifying... my poetry has always been something that I keep very close. Sometimes I think I copped out... an English major doing poetry for the Senior Honors Project? I trust that my sponsor will do a good job of commenting on my work and helping me to make it better.

I miss my boyfriend more than I can describe in words. Since he left, I don't feel like the same person anymore... I feel like a sadder more boring version of myself. People have all those dumb cliches about the person they love... like "he makes me a better person" or "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and all that sappy stuff, but I'm beginning to realize why people say these things.


I talked to my boyfriend's good friend tonight. Somehow, talking to his friends always makes me feel closer to him. Especially when they tell me stories about him. This particular friend reminded me of the time that my boyfriend got naked and jumped in a pond while drunk... haha. If it wasn't for this particular friend, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend, because he's the one who convinced my boyfriend to come to the party where we met. He's also the friend that did the matchmaking, and told me "oh he really likes you... he talks about you all the time, and what a great girl he thinks you are." His friend is currently in Colorado, and my boyfriend is in Chicago, and I think they both need to come back now.

Well... what else? You'd better check out this song. I listen to it on the way to class to keep from turning back because of the snow. Also, if you ever get a chance check out the movie Committed (2000). I realize that it seems hokey, but the message is real. That, and Heather Graham is adorable.

This Year's Love

It's been a really rough 2008.

There were far too many goodbyes that I didn't want to say.

In May, with the end of the semester, I said goodbye to two of my best friends, one moved back home, and one went to Europe.

In August, I said goodbye to a girl that had become a very close friend. She moved to Arizona.

In September, I said goodbye to the best guy friend I've had in a long time. He's in the National Guard, and is spending a year in Egypt. It's scary and sad, and parties are not the same without him.

In November, a really good guy friend of mine passed away. He'd always had health problems, and had been in the hospital for awhile, but no one anticipated that he would not make it. His funeral was the hardest goodbye of my life.

In December, I said goodbye to my boyfriend, he left for boot camp for the Navy. We're staying together, which makes things hard, but hopeful.

So 2008 was dreadful, but a couple of the girls mentioned before are coming back, my National Guard friend will eventually be back, and I get to see my boyfriend in a month or two... so hopefully 2009 is a year of homecoming... and the goodbyes that broke my heart over and over again in 2008 will be a thing of the past.

The Cold Part

My boyfriend left one week ago for Boot Camp for the Navy. I'm incredibly proud of his decision to join, and I think he's the most amazing man ever.

But, of course, I miss him. I've been doing all the necessary things... listening to music that he likes, listening to the voicemails I have saved from him, wearing his sweatshirt and his hat... talking about him to anyone who will listen.

This is a very new feeling for me... like others I've been recently feeling... and I'm not sure how to handle them...

I've had short distance relationships before... the kind where an hour separates me from the person I'm dating... but even then, it wouldn't be more than a week that I'd go without them... and I would at least talk to them everyday...

Being sad without negative feelings is really strange and new... I don't know how to deal with it...